Sunday, October 12, 2014

And Run.

Oh hi lovelies.  This week has been good, but challenging for sure.  I have no idea where this dang transfer went.  It went by so fast.  Man, the week goes as follows.  
Thursday:  I got some of the best emails ever on Thursday.  I got one from President Schmutz that was just so loving and sweet, I got some great ones from so many people, and especially from Aunt Lol.  I love you all.  Thank you for supporting me and loving me so much.  So after we emailed Sister Passey, Sister Littell and I decided that we were going to have a picnic.  So we bough lechon manok, it is basically Filipino rotisseri chicken, it is so good. I had never tried it before, but Sister Passey wanted me to eat it before she left.  We bought it and they just chop it up right in front of you bones and all and then put it in a bag for you.  We had to travel to Sibonga, which is where Sister Littell's area is.  It's about twenty minutes away.  So we traveled there and bought some little bagged rice and ate on the beach.  Literally on the dock looking over the ocean.  We took some cute pictures and just all really took it in.  It was my first time really seeing the ocean.  It's so incredibly beautiful.  We ate our lechon and rice with our bare hands while looking at the ocean and we drank softdrinks from bags.  It was so so good.  After p day was over we went back to carcar and worked.  We had a dinner appointment that night and I don't entirely know how to tell you this, but I did it.  I ate balut.  It was foul.  It was crunchy and feathery, and foul.  But I ate the whole thing and I didn't even throw up.  Sister Passey wanted me to eat it before she left.  I hope I don't have to eat it too many more times because seriously, it is disgusting.  There is no reason to eat it, just eat a regular egg haha.  But then we washed it down with some fresh coconut juice right out of the coconut.  It was crazy because Thursday was my four month mark and Sister Passey's 18 month mark.  I feel like I've been out for a long time, but at the same time it feels like it's flying.  It's crazy to have 14 more months.  It just doesn't feel real.  Sometimes it just feels like I will be on my mission for the rest of my life haha.  But I know it's going to fly by.  As I watched Sister Passey this week, I realized how fast it really will go.  On a mission you always want what you cant have.  At the beginning, you just want time to speed up and go home, but near the end you just want it to slow down so you can stay.  I'm trying to just be here, and enjoy what I've got.  
Friday we jogged to the overpass for the very last time.  Man, I love that overpass.  And I love the memories and talks we have been able to have there.  For this week in my training I had to lead all of the lessons, all of the planning, and weekly planning.  It was a little intimidating doing it in front of both Sister Passey and Sister Littell because they are such good missionaries, but I survived!  And I learned a lot along the way.  
Saturday Sister Littell had to go to Cebu with a sister from Naga, so we got up at 5:00 and got on a jeepney for forty minutes to Naga.  We had personal study in Naga, and Sister Passey shared such a special scripture with me.  I was talking to her about how I just felt like I couldn't lead this area, I don't even speak this language, how could I ever do this?  She's really good at sharing scriptures when you're upset.  She showed me Moses 6.  She had me read with her verses 31-39,  substituting my name for Enoch.  Especially when it says "I am but a lad, and all the people hate me for I am slow of speech, wherefore am I thy servant?"  "And then the Lord said unto Sister Beyer: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee...open thy mouth and it shall be filled....therefore walk with me" I read it with her and just cried.  She's really such a good missionary, and such a good companion.  Sister Littell got back and we embarked back on the jeepney for an hour as they bumped Eminem for an hour.  An hour.  It was truly rather comical.  We got back to Carcar and ate siomai for the last time, and relished in how delicious it truly is.  Then we went to Janene's baptism.  Man, I can't even tell you how special it was to me.  This woman has just changed so much.  And I saw it from the first day.  Sister Passey and I worked so hard with this woman this transfer, and she just shines.  She is so converted to this gospel.  Clark came to the baptism to see, as did Janene's little sister Jolena who is thirteen.  While Janene was bearing her testimony and crying, Jolena looked over at me with tears in her eyes and asked me if I would help her get baptized too.  She's been coming to church with Jolena this whole time.  These people are just so special.  All of them.  They really, really are.  That night we got home and started the chaos of trying to pack Sister Passey to go home.  Man, that was sad.  But, I inhereted a new wardrobe in the proccess, so all was not lost I guess haha.  
Sunday was fathers day!  I thought of you a lot dad, I hope you had a special day and could feel of my love.  :)  It was Sister Passey's last day, so we just worked.  That night we had our shining moments and it was so good, but so hard.  The three of us just cried.  Missions are hard because you love people so much, and then you have to say goodbye to them.  I can't even begin to explain how much I'm going to miss Sister Passey.  And I surely can't explain how much that girl has changed me.  
Monday:  we woke up at five and finished packing Sister Passey before getting her on a bus off to Cebu.  Sister Littell and I cried as we walked home.  It's so hard to say goodbye to people, man, I'm excited to see that girl again in 14 months haha.  we went to district meeting and got our transfer calls.  I'll be staying in Carcar and Sister Mahoney will be serving with me.  I've heard wonderful things about her.  She is actually Sister Anderson's companion right now haha.  She's from Australia, so that should be fun.  That night Sister Littell and I taught the Mondijars.  Have I told you about them?  They are relatively new.  But Sister Passey and I found them.  They are a family, and they are so prepared.  They comitted to be baptized the first time we taught them.  They actually read their entire assignments and understand them!  On Sunday they came to church and loved it, and they are coming to the other sister's baptism on Saturday so they can know what to expect.  So as Sister Littell and I taught them that night, I went in and we were going to commit them to a date to be baptized.  Before I could even start the lesson, they started talking to me about how they felt at church, how they loved it, and asked me when they can get baptized.  So, that was neat.  They're a really great family.  They are just so prepared.  And they just love to read the book of mormon.  We also taught Clark that night, and we were able to teach his Grandma!  That's a really big deal.  You should have seen this nanay's face as her grandchildren sang I am a Child of God at the top of their lungs and then took turns reading the book of mormon and teaching her about prayer.  Her heart was so softened.  This next transfer is going to be a busy one.  
Yesterday Sister Littell and I had to go work in her area.  It is called Sibonga.  it is so beautiful.  For part of the day we were teaching in houses on the beach, then we went and literally hiked up a mountain and taught in the jungle.  It's such a sweet area.  It was such a crazy adventure.  And that was my week, it was crazy, but ti was good.  
As Sister Passey and I were jogging the other day, I started thinking about why it feels so good to run.  Why does it help to ease our minds?  Why does it makes us less stressed.  I have a favorite song back home that I listened to a lot before I went on my mission.  It's called "And Run"  One lyric that I really like is "
I’m making all my own plans,
Throwing all my old ones away.
Gonna grow up, Be someone.
Draw a map, find a path.
Take a breath and run."
I decided to do a scripture study on running.  I found some really neat scriptures that talk about running.  Proverbs 4:11-12, Isaiah 40:31, Jeremiah 5:1, 1 Corinthians 9:24, Hebrews 12:1, and Mosiah 4:27.  I think Mosiah 4:27 is so misunderstood.  When it tells us that we shouldn't run faster than we have strength, he isn't telling us to take it easy, and just hang out.  We are expected to run, and we're expected to run fast.  I made a list of things that the scriptures promise us, IF we run.  We are promised that we will be led, that we won't be distressed, that we won't stumble, we weill have renewed strength, we will mount up with the wings of eagles, we won't be wary, we will be able to see, know and speak.  We will obtain, we will be able to lay aside the weight, lay aside the sin and run with patience.  We will be able to be dilligent and win the prize.  I started thinking about how we should spend our lives running.  I thought about how good it feels to run in the mornings, and I thought about how good it feels to "run" doing missionary work.  Meaning, to just give it my all.  You don't think about yourself, you don't think about all the scary, you just run and you lose yourself.  That's really what it's all about.  I was thinking about in my setting apart blessing when it talked about having the health and stamina to go the extra mile and give it my all.  And I jsut realized, my heavens Sister Beyer, you've been blessed with the ability to run.  Sister Passey's sister wrote her a wonderful email about "the hills" and I re read it this week.  It talked about how we are in our situations, and there isn't a way around it.  For me, its my mission.  I'm on this mission, and there is no way around it.  You have to keep going and get home sonehow.  We could slow down, but what good would that do in reality because somehow we have to get back to the finish line to get home.  Se we have to make the decision to keep moving, even though it's hard.  She said one thing that really hit me, she said "the only way out is through.  And more than anything it is through the savior.  And I just had this moment where I realized I wanted to run.  I want to run my whole mission.  I want to run my whole life, because it just feels better that way.  Missions are so much harder than I ever imagined.  But when I slow down and think about it, that's when it's really hard.  But it I just run, and work as hard as I can, that's when it feels good and it feels manageable.  We just keep going.  And we just keep running.  This mission is really changing a lot for me, I'm making new plans and throwing my old ones away.  I'm growing up and I really want to find out who I am.  So I'm just here, trying to draw my map, find a path, take a breath and run.  I love you all so much.  I can't wait to talk to you again next week.  Stay Strong. 

Love, Carlee

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